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About The Hague

After, I’m skippin’ back to the ship, lighter in the wallet but floatin’—so happy I could cry! Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s seen a thousand mes. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe she’s the queen of the docks, ruler of all prossies! In my head, I’m plannin’—next port, I’m findin’ her again. “The Social Network” vibes hit hard—“I’m CEO, b*tch!”—‘cept I’m just a sailor with a boner and a dream. HA-HA-HA! Moral? Ports got perks, doll—find a prostitute, live a little!

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But then, as I’m leaving, I see this guy trying to parallel park. And let me tell ya, it’s a disaster. He’s in and out, in and out. I’m just standing there, laughing. Finally, he gets it right, and everyone claps. I’m like, “Wow, Surhuisterveen really knows how to celebrate the small wins.”

Froome and Sagan star in post-Tour de France criteriums gallery